The girl who was my elementary school girl friend just got engaged and I’m sitting here single wearing a pug shirt and hamburger underwear
Just remember, u r someone’s dream girl
I’m a boy
Tumblr has made us forget that some people are actually straight
jesus this post is one train wreck after another
it looks like he just popped out of a pokeball omg
Or out of one of those giant birthday cakes.
Like everyone is stood around at the party and the cake gets wheeled in and everyone starts singing..
“Happy Birthday to y-“
“…Are you the stripper?”
“…I am a God you dull creature.”
*casually brushes cake frosting off cape*
This caption. I can’t. I need this because reasons.
Your wish… My two hours down the drain.
OMFG it got better
whoever wrote this character was high as a kite
Actually a lot of the lines were improved by the voice actor Josh Gad
…who was probably defintely as high as a kite
Man what would happen if we took every criminal and threw them on a continent and just let them have at it for like 50 years? What would they even say when we came back?
probably “g’day mate!”
it’s funny because that’s the actual history of australia
I need to prove a point to my homophobic friend.I’m writing down the urls of everyone who reblogs this in a notebook, and will present it to my friend when it is sufficiently full.
You’re gonna need a bigger book
in the south
- we only refer to people as y’all. that group of people over there? y’all. our mamas? y’all. you? y’all.
- everyone chews tobacco
- we have wells where we can draw up sweet tea from the ground
- nobody pursues education past the age of 12
- we all know how to run a farm
- we cry about the civil war at least once a day, twice on sundays
- only country music plays. ever
no but seriously imagine being a muggleborn wizard at hogwarts and then when you learn to conjure your patronus it turns out to be a pikachu
#and everyone’s like ‘ooooh what sort of magical creature is this’ #meanwhile the muggle borns are laughing their asses off going ‘PIKA! PIKA’ at you #not but srsly how come muggle borns don’t have a super secret club making inside jokes and snarking right back at elitist purebloods